The Hardest Choice

The author reflects on losing their home and possessions six years ago, prompting a need for profound change. Seeking support from church members, they began rebuilding their life, which required breaking free from toxic relationships and habits. This pivotal decision, though challenging, marked the beginning of their journey toward self-trust and renewal.

I will let you in on something: about six years ago, I lost the home I’d lived in for about two years. I lost all of my antique furniture, my children’s belongings, and all hope of ever getting back to normal. What made it significantly worse was that this wasn’t the first time I’d found myself in a similar situation. My choices had led me down a path of destruction, and I desperately needed a change.

I reached out to some church members and told my pastor what I was going through. Luckily, I was able to crash in a house as long as I helped with the renovations, which I happily did. But the truly difficult part was separating myself from the toxic patterns and self-serving people I tended to attract.

The real hardest choice wasn’t the moving or the rebuilding. It was deciding, finally, that I wasn’t going back to the same people, the same habits, or the same version of myself that wrecked my life in the first place. It meant being uncomfortable, being alone sometimes, and facing the mess I made without numbing it.

That decision to walk away from what meant me harm is the reason I’m still standing. It didn’t fix everything overnight, but it became the first real step toward becoming someone I could trust again. Losing everything wasn’t the end of my story — it was the moment my story finally changed direction.

DOGE: Disappearing Eight Months Early

The Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) slowly but surely, completely made off into that ‘good night’ before our very eyes. And it did so eight months before its mandate was set to expire, marking one of the most abrupt and chaotic political shutdowns in recent history.

DOGE Quietly Shut Down Ahead of Schedule

DOGE, as I remember it, was a meme, then a meme coin, and then an official department of the government via an executive order. It’s embarrassing things like this that really make you think that you’ve landed in an alternate timeline. The department was originally scheduled to operate through July 2026, but multiple federal sources have confirmed that the department “no longer exists” as of November 2025. Its functions have been silently absorbed into many other agencies without a public announcement.

*The following image is not the actual Doge dog

The DOGE meme dog – Kabosu – originated from a photo taken by Japanese kindergarten teacher Atsuko Sato back in 2010 (source: Know Your Meme). The meme exploded in 2013 when it inspired Dogecoin, the joke cryptocurrency that somehow turned into a global cultural moment. From there, the DOGE concept kept snowballing until it managed to influence internet culture, finance, politics, and eventually even the creation of the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) in the U.S. government.

In Washington, this kind of silent redistribution is how failed political experiments get erased from public memory.

Unfulfilled Promises and Inflated Claims

At launch, supporters of Doge promised: major reductions in government spending for the following fiscal year (major fail when we suffered a shutdown 40 days biblical), deep cuts to the federal workforce (drain the swamp), rapid modernization of outdated systems (they had unfettered access to millions of Americans’ information), and aggressive audits of federal contracts. Let’s break down each of these in a clean bullet point – response style.

  • Major cuts to spending – We spent significantly more in 2025 than all of 2024 due to mass firings and re-hirings. The recent shutdown itself cost more than just money. In the month of November, millions of families have lost access to safety net social programs, and health insurance premiums more than doubled for many more. So far, not good.
  • Massive loss of workforce – Many people have lost their jobs or have been furloughed. Which is a fancy way to say ‘you’re unemployed while also still employed.’ A sort of job ‘limbo’ is what I see it as.
  • Rapid Modernization of outdated systems. – This one kind of speaks for itself. But I’ll say it anyway, they’re essentially putting themselves out the door as this 250-year-old system itself has stagnated and is falling into even more antiquated ways. I guess this is what we get for letting geriatric folks be in charge for far too long.

And finally,

  • Aggressive audits – I’m not particularly well-versed in this, but I’ll say this. They noticeably failed here also.

But independent analyses repeatedly found that many of the savings were overstated, unverifiable, and based on canceling contracts that weren’t actually costing anything. The math never aligned with the marketing.

The Human Cost Was Far Worse

Instead of delivering efficiency, DOGE became notorious for mass firings and abrupt purges of public service workers. Entire offices were emptied overnight. Decades of institutional knowledge disappeared. Now, in a twist of political karma, DOGE’s former employees find themselves living in the very nightmare they manufactured and force-fed other humans. Former staff members of madness are reportedly experiencing a great amount of stress and fear as they scramble to find legal representation. One former employee allegedly warned colleagues:

“Get your own lawyers… Elon is great, but you need to watch your own back.”

That single sentence captures the level of panic within DOGE’s final days.

OUT OF ORDER

USAID, once a lifeline for millions, is now effectively out of service. The humanitarian fallout continues as USAID decays from within.

A Culture of Speed, Pressure, and Dysfunction

DOGE ran on a Silicon Valley-inspired move fast and break things philosophy. However, government infrastructure is not built to be dismantled and reassembled on the fly. Insiders described that the rushed operation led to many mistakes being made, some are still affecting us to this day. The system was far too complicated for anyone without the correct training and knowledge, causing internal confusion. The unclear mandates, paired with the pressure to perform coming from the top down, would make anyone’s head spin with anxiety and, in turn, cause a fumble of important data.

Without transparency or accountability, instability grew until the department simply collapsed under its own weight.

A Fragmented Aftermath

With DOGE dissolved, its remaining projects and personnel were scattered across: The Office of Personnel Management, the Department of Health and Human Services, the Office of Naval Research, the National Design Studio, and multiple smaller interagency teams.

These organizations now face the task of sorting through the wreckage left behind.

My Personal Take

I was genuinely astonished by the sheer audacity of the administration and how it allowed this instability to unfold. DOGE dismantled long-standing departments, fired entire teams, and operated as though consequences were optional.

The real shock isn’t that DOGE failed – it’s how fast it collapsed.

And now the same people who once enforced the cuts are afraid for their own futures. Hearing insiders warn each other to get lawyers because “loyalty won’t save you” speaks volumes about the inner chaos.

DOGE didn’t just shut down; it imploded. And now the truth is catching up to people who built the storm.

The Larger Crisis: The USAID Shutdown and Its Human Toll

The decision to dismantle or defund USAID may represent one of the largest humanitarian failures of the decade. From my perspective, this isn’t just a policy misstep – it’s a moral crisis. The impacts are already visible. According to several global health experts, the termination of USAID has been linked to catastrophic loss of life. An estimated 600,000 deaths this year (according to Google sources), the majority being children.

Other global analyses – including reporting from Reuters – warn that continued cuts could contribute to as many as 14 million preventable deaths by 2030. If even a fraction of these projections is accurate, history will judge this moment harshly.

This wasn’t just inefficiency. This was abandonment. And the world’s most vulnerable paid the price.

Final Thoughts

DOGE’s collapse may be the headline today, but the deeper story is the pattern: rushed decisions, political experiments with real human consequences, and a disturbing willingness to sacrifice stability for optics. Accountability shouldn’t be optional. Not when lives are at stake, and not when the stability and future of our democracy hang in the balance.

This story affects us all – and your perspective matters. Leave your thoughts in the comments below.

Before the Revamp

The Era of Paper Promises

There was a time — not too long ago — when people paid for the idea of safety.

Each month, they signed away pieces of their income to unseen corporations in exchange for the hope that, if sickness struck, they wouldn’t lose everything.

But that hope was paper-thin.

They called it “insurance,” but it insured nothing except profit.

People lived in fear of their own bodies — terrified of a cough that lingered too long, an ache that meant time off work, or a diagnosis that could turn into debt overnight.

Even those with “good coverage” felt the pinch: premiums, copays, deductibles — a pyramid of payments that never seemed to end.

Doctors wanted to heal, but they were bound by codes, quotas, and billing systems written by men in suits who never set foot in a hospital room.

The healers became clerks, the sick became customers, and the system — a machine that fed on both.

It was called modern medicine.

But really, it was a ritual of survival in a world that forgot what wellness meant.

People stayed in jobs that broke their spirits just to keep their “benefits.”

They compared coverage plans instead of comparing lives.

And the cruelest part? They were told it was normal — that this was just how things worked.

A society so advanced it could map the human genome, yet couldn’t guarantee that a child could see a doctor without bankrupting their parents.

So much wealth. So much technology. So little compassion.

But all systems built on imbalance eventually collapse.

And so, when the world began to reimagine its foundations — when “essentials came first” — this was one of the first structures to fall.

Out of the ashes of paper promises came a new framework: Living Health Accounts.

No more middlemen. No more gatekeeping. No more fear of your own wellbeing.

People began to see health as part of their birthright, not their budget.

The healers were freed to practice healing again.

The sick were treated as whole, not profitable.

And for the first time in centuries, wellness became wealth.

This reflection comes from the world introduced in my book — a place reborn under the principle that essentials come first. Each entry stands as both a memory and a message from that reimagined era.

Looking Back Without Staying There

Is there an age or year of your life you would re-live?

This question deserves a layered answer. Let’s start by exploring the weight of regret, and the longing to return to a time when we think things might have gone differently. I’ve often asked myself if I’d ever want to relive a certain year or moment—but truthfully, I wouldn’t. Every experience, even the painful ones, has shaped who I am and guided the choices that led me here.

From as far back as I can remember, my life wasn’t filled with the kind of happy or cherished memories that people often hold onto. And while I won’t go into the reasons why, I’ve come to accept that my past unfolded exactly as it needed to. Each moment, no matter how difficult, built the person standing here today. Change even one of them, and I wouldn’t be me.

So rather than clinging to old wounds or replaying what could have been, I choose to be grateful for my resilience—for the fact that I’ve made it this far. Don’t dwell on what you wish you could change; instead, honor the path that brought you here. Live in the now, and let your past become the foundation for a future that feels truly worth living.

In choosing not to dwell on what was, I’ve learned to gain from what is—and that’s how forward thinking begins.

What is your favorite form of physical exercise?

My favorite form of physical exercise isn’t tied to a gym membership — it’s built into my everyday routine. Carrying groceries up the stairs, walking everywhere because I don’t have a car, and turning chores into movements with music.

Honestly, there are days I’m too exhausted to move, but I’ve learned that when I do — even just stretching before bed and again when I wake — it keeps me mobile enough to carry that basket of laundry from the basement to the attic without breaking down.

On days I can’t walk to the store or around the block, I hop on my stationary bike, which even helps improve my dance moves in the kitchen as I cook. Basically, as long as my body is in motion, my energy levels stay up.

Two years ago, I was diagnosed with Type II diabetes — but thanks to major lifestyle changes, I’ve been off insulin for about ten months now. Life’s workout plan costs nothing and builds strength where it counts.

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